Cooperage Website + store in Joomla

We need a COOPERAGE website designed and all source code delivered to run our our own JOOMLA install. Have you designed a cooperage website before ? Prove your coding, writing and graphics ability !!! The entire site including pictures and wordse should be supplied by you / your team. So we need a script/content writer, and graphics person to find create master images, and al the wordage for a cooperage website. We don't care if you are team or individual, as long as you quote all milestones and expected outcomes in each step, and have EXCELLENT *WORDSMITH* skills! Send us a sample of your impeccable wordage and wordsmith skills... and of course *relevant* sample sites. if you just list random bland sites you developed, that are NOT relevant to cooperages, your bid will be deleted. I want to see something EXTREMELY IMPRESSIVE.... Please list extra UNIQUE features that you could develop into a *COOPERAGE* website and matching store/cart site. It is taken for granted that you will design a separate administration portal for order and payment processing. If you have any questions ask. If you don't ask questions, I will assume you know all the answers and will expect absolute perfection. List the time frame of each step of the website development, what development platform you will work on, and what is the expected outcome of each milestone. You will be paid on milestone deliverables, of a functional DEVELOPMENT site / working system, and I expect *ALL* source code to be packaged up after each milestone and professionally documented, so I can unpack and test on our own Joomla development site. This includes all jpg/gif html php .sql files etc. Reply with "cooper" as your first word reply, else I consider you not smart enough to pay attention to detail to read all of the project acquirements, let alone to code, so go waste someone else time and money. Again, tell me why I should select YOU to be the project manager for this website design. List the features you will place in the site, to be short-listed. If you don't list features of a COOPERAGE website your bid will be discarded. JOOMLA on LAMP is preferred, but if other platform is needed, explain to me WHY! There is more than one website to design, so whomever does an effective job on this front-end and back-end will get invited to develop the next website. I may also elect to have multiple developers for this project. what is your strength? In your submission, list ALL the modules objects and extensions that you would include in Joomla, and all of the places where each security updates are available for each module that you would include ( so that I can research and confirm eligibility). Explain your choice of shopping cart module ( submit a link of the Joomla extension / module for the cart). List all the payment modules the cart will support. Preference will be given to the best research and content and knowledge in your reply. IE, if you know what cooperage is, and can explain to me the passion of it...