the description style you suggested as example is useless if you want customers to do business with you. you need a copy that instils trust, highlights why you are different, and how different is your perspective, plus can be to a street smart agency to work with?
i can write better for 50 bucks, if you select today, tomorrow 70 bucks, day after tomorrow 100 bucks. lol kidding.
send me details, will write it for you.
Best, Gaurav