Advertising Propaganda. Need Help for More Traffic.

Hello! I am looking for people with enough creativity to visit this site and design some ads for me. I have attached the file using my amateur advertising skills but i'm afraid it won't entice people to visit my site. Please go through the attached file and tell me what you think in your proposal. Also, please visit the site so that you know what to advertise. I will hire the person with the most unique way of advertising it.