R programmer needed - quick!

Greetings sir, i am an expert freelancer for this job and your 100% satisfaction is assured if you allow me to serve. Here is the reason. Why you should pick me? a) I am a very expert and have the same kind of experience of 5 years. b) I work very hard (16+ hours a day and 7 days a week) and also very fast so... it will be done very soon than most of the other providers c) And most important part is my policy: "I will give you (to my client) life time support (as long as you keep relation with me). And fix any bugs/problem without any cost. So, don't ever worry about me” Please sir, leave a reply ASAP, as I am waiting for your kind reply

I'm a lecturer in the Actuarial Science and Statistics department at my university. I've lecture a few classes on how to program in R.